On planning

When I left my dayjob, I wasn't actually planning everything in details.
Well, frankly I wasn't planning everything at all. I had some very blurry plans of perhaps doing this and that, making some useful products, and providing some useful services, and get some useful money. That's it.

I believe it's not my nature to plan anything. My attitude towards my life in general and towarrds the detail as well is - grab the situation, and get something out of it. Sit back and enjoy the life, until next situation comes in. Repeat.
It can sound pretty stupid to those who carefully plan, carefully counts all pros and cons and then proceeds, backed up with some data.
However, it works for me. Not "generally works" - it always works. This is the way I am designed. This is the way I function.

I don't deny planning. To some extent, it is useful even for me, especially when I have to decide whether to start some long-term activity, like starting some business, or not. Some short and messy plan helps to understand the time span needed for the task, the cost of it (not only in money - you invest your time, your passion, your courage etc.) and some other aspects of the problem.

However, as I found out, for me the detailed plan doesn't work. When I start throughout planning, I become confused with the details, unable to see the situation and grab it. This way I have already spoiled about two months of my time working on a pre-dead project. I wrote two different plans on it, one for my "angel" and the other one for me, and the planning took enough time for me to become confused and blurred enough to waste my time and energy on the project, instead of dropping it and starting the one I'm doing now.

So, to sum everything up - if you're not designed for planning, you don't have to plan. Stay awake, stay alert, and don't miss the right moment to make an action. Grab the life with both hands.

My life for Aiur...

Less than a month has passed since my friend has died. Name was Yuriy, though I always named him "Shrike" - his StarCraft nickname.
To tell you the truth, I am drained by telling the story of "how did that happen to such a brilliant and promising young guy", so that I cannot possibly tell it once more.

All I can tell you is that his death was an accident. "A stupid accident" as people call it. Perhaps it is more comfortable to think that death works based on randomizator, taking the lives left and right, so that you don't take the responsibility for your own life and death. Come on, you aren't even involved in the process of defining who shall die today!

However, I don't believe it anymore. Death is not stupid. Every person lives his or her own life the way he or she likes it - and deals with the consequences. This life can be either fully conscious or be not, the person can accept the concept of "fate", or "dao", or can not, the person can be ready for death or be not - all that don't matter for death. One day, it will come, and you'd better be ready.

What done is done, and what had happened - had happened.
My friend is gone, and I don't know whether he still exists somewhere or not. The memory still exists in myself, so you can say that, to some extent, he lives in me.

En Taro Adun, Shrike!